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The dating app for Autistic people that could be financially harmful

Dating is notoriously difficult for Autistic people. We are often misunderstood and misinterpreted, a clear example of Milton’s (2012) double empathy problem. So back in 2019 when I was entering the world of dating again, I was pleased to find a free dating app aimed at Autistic people. While none of my matches ultimately worked…

Dating is notoriously difficult for Autistic people. We are often misunderstood and misinterpreted, a clear example of Milton’s (2012) double empathy problem. So back in 2019 when I was entering the world of dating again, I was pleased to find a free dating app aimed at Autistic people. While none of my matches ultimately worked out, having a space to connect with like-minded individuals gave me the confidence to ultimately meet the mother of my child. The apps name was Hiki.

It’s been brought to my attention recently in online spaces that Hiki has now added premium subscriptions and in-app purchases. I decided to look into it and was incredibly upset by what I found. This app has now become something that could tempt finically struggling ND people into throwing away money that they can’t afford.

Hiki’s Mission for Autistic people

While the app was originally aimed at Autistic people, it did not really take off. In recent times, it has expanded to include all forms of neurodivergence, which I applaud, but some others do not. ToastedRavs4Life on Reddit feels that the app has lost sight of its original purpose, stating:

“…I can’t help but think that its original purpose of connecting people who have trouble connecting with the majority of people has been lost.”

Despite this, their current mission statement sound very promising. Despite my misgivings about the financial side of this, I believe their goals sound positive.

It particularly pleases me that they have had input from actual neurodivergent people. However, I am deeply concerned by their financial model.

Hiki and subscriptions that could harm Autistic people

I took a look at the prices for premium subscriptions and was shocked to see what they are charging neurodivergent people, who are often at the lower end of socioeconomic statuses already, particularly Autistic people (Dillenburger, et al; 2015).

For a weekly subscription, Hiki are charging £18.99 a week. If you pay monthly, you are looking at £41.99 a month. The subscriptions do get cheaper as you pay for longer periods with a 12 month subscription being listed at £5.29 a week. This equates to around £275.08 a year.

These subscriptions allow you to see who is liking your profile and, therefore, increase your chance of a match. In my opinion, this alone is financially exploitative of potentially desperately isolated neurodivergent people. Unfortunately the costs don’t stop there.

You are encouraged to purchase “boosts” which prioritise your profile on the apps feed. Boosts start at £23.49 each, and provide 30 minutes of your profile being at “the top of the list”. Further more there are “sparks” that you can use to bring people’s attention to the fact you have like their profile. These start at £4.66 each, with the minimum purchase being three sparks.

How are Hiki’s prices potentially harmful to Autistic people

As mentioned above, Autistic people are more likely to experience poverty. Particularly when you consider the high rates of underemployment or unemployment in our community; The Buckland Review (2024) in the UK states that only 3 in 10 working age Autistic people are in employment.

This app, like many other dating apps, places a pressure on it’s users to spend money. For lonely or isolated Autistic people, this could result in them spending significant amounts of money to increase their chances of success on the app. I myself have fallen victim to the costs of these apps for the same reason. In a world where people are having to choose between heating or eating, this app has the potential to further stretch already limited financial resources.

It seems to me that Hiki has lost sight of it’s original goal. There was a potentially wonderful thing created, that has been ruined by the terminal status of capitalism. I can’t tell you whether or not to use this app, but I recommend extreme caution when considering paying for it. It seems to me that this has become a space to help the Autistic people who can afford to pay for it.

Author

  • David Gray-Hammond

    David Gray-Hammond is an Autistic, ADHD, and Schizophrenic author. He wrote “The New Normal: Autistic musings on the threat of a broken society” and “Unusual Medicine: Essays on Autistic identity and drug addiction”.

    He runs the blog Emergent Divergence (which can be found at https://emergentdivergence.com ) and is a regular educator and podcast host for Aucademy.

    He runs his own consultancy business through which he offers independent advocacy, mentoring, training, and public speaking.

    He has his own podcast “David’s Divergent Discussions” and can also be found on substack at https://www.davidsdivergentdiscussions.co.uk

Response to “The dating app for Autistic people that could be financially harmful”

  1. Why dating can be tough for autistic people – and what may make it easier – We See & Show

    […] people, for example, Mattr and Hiki. But many such apps operate on premium models, creating potential barriers for users already facing social or financial […]

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